The Dolan Weblog

Wait.  You need to read this first:

READ ME FIRST!

OK, now you are properly prepared for my second installment of how BabyGirl is gunning for me.  I’ve suspected for a while that the relative quiet on the stairs was just a period of planning.  Today was the big offensive.

First, there was the seemingly innocent Japanese dinner party.  Shoes left at the door and the royal table and chairs.

This tableau was only left on the bottom two stairs. Not deadly enough.

Shortly after that, every plastic food in the Fisher Price arsenal was added.  A few steps higher to increase chance of death from a fall.

The Nintendo SP's on the lower step were an afterthought, but found to be effective and used again.

A few minutes later, with the addition of a headband, DVD box, and the formerly favored cones, the lower obstacle was complete.

Note how there seem to be empty spots to place your feet, but they are on opposing sides, thus throwing subject off-balance. Clever.

BabyGirl then turned her attention to the upper tactical area.  Yes!  A Lincoln Log castle would be the crowning touch!  Those suckers HURT when you step on them, resulting in a stumble into the already-prepared lower threat.

"Let's see . . .castle here, teepee over here, canoe dead center. Perfect!"

Maybe, in the interest of my own safety, I need to get one of those chairs that will ride me up the stairs.  Bet she’d learn the electrical skills needed to kill me that way, too.  Can you call me in the morning to make sure I’m OK?

UPDATE:  Seriously, y’all, I can’t make this stuff up.  Within minutes of publishing this post, I walked past the stairs to see this:

Danger! Detour through the dining room! (Maybe she's going soft--the pile of unmatched socks might be to cushion my fall.)