The Dolan Weblog

Smörgåsbord

5 August 2010 at 8:33 am (Life--Uncategorized, What the . . .?) (God and guns and booze, humor, It's cute now but BabyGirl will probably need speech therapy, moving, Texas)

I know, I know.  I realize that haven’t blogged in a really long time, so you can just stop with the Puss in Boots sad eyes and the guilt-inducing sighs (Mom).  So much has been going on, not the least of which has been the WORST. MOVE. OF MY LIFE.  My family of seven moved from the Washington, DC area to a city in West Texas and at some point I intend to make the moving companies rue the day that they ever darkened my doorstep.  But even with the move horrors, there have been some interesting and/or entertaining moments recently.  Not all of them made it into Facebook status updates, so I figured I’d park them all here, stream-of-consciousness-style.  Enjoy.  Or not.  And if you were involved in my move last month?  You’ve got a target on your back, baby.

-When we moved into our house and I opened my dryer that had been in storage for three years, I found a load of clothes from 2007.  Luckily, they had dried, so no odor.  But I don’t think the wrinkles will ever come out.  I was wondering what happened to those jeans . . .

-My favorite church billboard this week:  “Facebook notification.  God has sent you a friend request.”

-You know you live in Texas when . . .at the store last week I heard this over the intercom: “Attention associates.  Customer needs assistance in Firearms.”

-Driving through the back roads this weekend, I saw a business with a big sign out front–”GUNS and REAL ESTATE.”  Makes you wonder which came first and why the second was thought to be such a good mesh with the original.

-BabyGirl kept insisting that her toy needed Chick-Fil-A batteries.  (Go ahead, say it out loud–any idea what she’s saying?)  Took me way too long to realize she was trying to say Triple A.  (We’re Southern, so our enunciation isn’t always the most exact.)

-Had to order a new toilet seat and when it came in the mail, there was a complimentary sample pack of Jelly Belly jelly beans included.  WTH?

-In our new rental house, the bathrooms have wall phones installed next to the toilets.  Really?  I gotta talk to someone so badly that I can’t wait until after I finish?

-DS2 re-discovered our electric keyboard as we were unpacking.  For about a week it was exclusively used to play the 5-note alien signal from Close Encounters of the Third Kind . . .over and over and over.  And over.

-Found out that in Texas, anyone under the age of 9 must be accompanied by an adult when hunting.

-Passed a road-side business last weekend:  Sheds and Mattresses — Rent to Own!  Again, what would make someone certain that these are two perfectly compatible business ventures?

-Freshly hand-made tortillas ROCK!

-You know what probably should not mix?  Fresh peach daiquiris and the process of eliminating wasp nests.  Hilarity ensued.  (You do NOT want your point, spray, duck, and run reflexes slowed.)