The Dolan Weblog

Is There A Movie About A Punnett Square?

3 December 2010 at 3:57 pm (Kids, What the . . .?) (humor, Multiple myths that make me want to beat someone up but I'll settle for rolling my eyes, Stuff my kids' teachers probably shouldn't read)

Three of my big kids have the same Biology teacher.  I met her on Parents’ Night and she seemed perfectly nice and sane and whatnot.  However, two comments in as many weeks have me wondering if she is getting her information from some blogger with a tin foil hat.

The first was last week when she informed the class that she believed that twins can communicate telepathically.  She then turned to one of my quads and asked, “Can you and your siblings do that?”  He replied, “Yes ma’am, I’m getting something from my brother right now.”  (No idea where he got that sarcastic sense of humor.  Love my kids.)  Witch Mountain may not be the most accurate resource on twins.

Tony and Tia: neither could hide their Eddie Albert fantasies from the other.

A few days later, she was discussing reproduction.  She informed the class that, “Sometimes people take fertility drugs so they’ll have more than one baby.”  The HOM (Higher Order Multiples) community will be so disappointed to know someone is on to our game.  Many used fertility resources because we wanted our pregnancies to be physically difficult, our kids to be born months early and dangerously underweight, and to watch our babies struggle to stay alive.  Oh, and feeding and caring for four infants at one time is something I had always dreamed of.  (Hey, there’s that sarcasm!)

Apu was just asking for it.

Excluding the OctoMom, everyone I’ve ever met, heard of, or emailed with who has used fertility drugs or procedures has had one goal: to have A baby.  In fact, depending on the medication or procedure, 80-95% of people who use a fertility option have a single baby and no one is ever the wiser.

Currently, the class is spending a lot of time discussing albinism.

A young, bald, albino boy with unusual powers. Yes, but can he talk to his sister with ONLY HIS MIND?!

I think this teacher and I could have a great weekend with our combined Netflix queues and a bottle of chianti.